How do you know when someone is the one? Is it as simple as thinking about them all the time? No, I feel like you get that gut instinct, that just knows, however, I think mine is broken now. Is it because I’ve been hurt in the past so often, that I’m now so guarded to let love just burst in? Have I already had my one and only shot? Could it be that I just have yet to meet my next great love? These are the questions that bombard my mind daily, when I’m just trying to live my best life, dammit!
I’ve made myself the promise that I refuse to make it official and date anyone that I’m not insanely excited about, and falling in, or already in love with! I don’t think anyone should settle. In my quest to uphold this mantra to myself though, I feel as though I may have not given a few guys a fair enough of a chance. I let some good guys go, for some now somewhat perhaps trivial reasons. It’s hard to have those ‘what ifs’ and stew on the fact they could have been a beautiful relationship had I worked at it a little harder. Maybe its this idea that you simply, fall in love. It shouldn’t be difficult, it shouldn’t be stressful, it shouldn’t be scary. It should just simply be. It just happens as quickly as falling asleep. One day you just realize you love the person, and nothing insanely dramatic and cathartic happens when you make this realization typically. It can be the moment they remembered you like white vinegar on your potatoes, with wayyyy too much salt & ensure to ask the waitress to bring it for you. It is always the small acts that prove the biggest love. Sadly, I’ve yet to have that, with a great impact. I’ve had little glimpses of it coming up on my third year of being single. I’m just here, not so patiently waiting for it to happen. My main thought today though is to not give up. To keep up the hope that great love will come my way & all this noise in the background is just experience to laugh about later and make my dumbass realize that once I find the one, I’ll be sure to know it!
xx Later days