Dildo Daze

So I tried my first dildo yesterday! 

How’s that for an opening line? You’re also probably shocked, with me, being a connoisseur of sex advice and owning a blog entitled Sexual Innuendo, its often shocking to everyone I don’t own any sex toys…. until now. There goes my go-to ‘never have I ever.’ Alas, all good things must come to an end, and my steady supply of dick has been rather unavailable as of late, so dildo here we come! As to why I’ve never owned one, I’ve thought about it tons, but just never felt compelled enough to bother investing. Luckily I’ve been blessed in my twenty-six years on the planet, that I can usually get a good dicking pretty easily. I’ve also never had a partner ever be into toys, so it’s just never really happened. This though is not only for my own pleasure but for science! Research!

I purchased a rather generic, rabbit style, purple and gold little number courtesy of amazon. It’s got some vibration settings, water-proof, all the normal sort of standard features. My first thought when I held it to my clit, was “holy fuck I’ve been missing out” but after having a little solo session, I was honestly pretty underwhelmed. I’m not in love with the vibration, it just feels a little too intense, but somehow not enough simultaneously. I tried turning it off and just used it as a dick essentially, but it just felt sort of hollow and just not quite the same. So as predicted, a dick, fingers, or tongue is much preferable. However, that being said, it did the trick in the end, and it won’t be the first or last time I use it. I feel as though with further experimentation I can probably get a better sort of feel for how to use it too, it was an adjustment to sort of fuck myself, so I will definitely be trying some different techniques in the coming days. My wrist definitely thanked me for not going to town on myself with just my right hand, Jill. Also, it’s probably ideal I won’t be found dead, in my bathtub with my fanny inverted awkwardly up to the faucet, while I’m practically drowning trying to get off, because my ass keeps closing the drain.

Some things you just can’t replicate. Filling the void with, cookies, exercise, shopping or dildos is sometimes all we have though, and its a nice temporary fix. I’m thankful I’m privileged enough to try these things, but also fortunate enough that I don’t really need to if I don’t want to either. In the meantime, I’m really missing my man who is in Australia, but coping in the healthiest ways I can think of. My wish to all my lovely readers is that you’re getting off regularly and whether it be from your own hands, dildos, dicks, or mouths, or other vaginas, know your sexual gratification is important. It’s natural and lovely and nothing to be ashamed of and I highly recommend if you can think of any ways to improve it, you do! Happy humping lovelies xox