“If I date you, the goal is to marry you. Build with you. Grow with you. I’m not dating you just to pass time, I see potential in you. I don’t fear commitment. I fear wasting my time.” -anonymous
AH, MY SURE-FIRE BLOW-JOB TIPS:
– Foreplay is always encouraged! A fun unique way —– some hot tea, and cold ice water, and playing with temperatures can be ridiculously effective. Swirl some in your mouth and switch back and forth, and I promise the effect will be mind-blowing——
– Approach: there’s a ton of playing you can do near the penis before beginning the actual dick sucking. Try a graze, kiss, touch, breathe, and look up at your partner. Play with and suck on his balls a little before the main course. If he’s into it I like to lick his asshole, up to his balls, and then all the way up to the tip, before I engulf his dick with my warm mouth.
– Eye contact is key, As much as you can try to look them in the eye. It can be really sexy if you lick the tip, or just kiss it, and give them a wink or something. Tease a little, looking at them all flirty, then right when they are sort of just on edge, deep throat as much as you can.
– Switch it up a bit, blowjobs can honestly bore a lot of guys, which is why some “Can’t get off from head” (ps any guy who says that is full of shit, or they haven’t ever had good enough head.) Like don’t just lick the tip the whole time, or just deep throat it (although the latter is more effective haha) Like tease between licking the side, licking the balls, if you’re feeling adventurous get some bum licks in their too, deep throat it a bit, lick the tip, caress it, use your hands. And switch between different positions. Just like sex, missionary the whole time’s a little mundane, same goes with a blowie.
– Don’t forget about your hands, and your body! You can use your boobs for a bit, give a bit of a tit job for a bit, rub them over him, use your hands on his inner thigh, or balls. Again if you and your partner are more into it, a finger in the bum, or the spot right between the balls and butt hole, can be a great trigger point. Just kind of massage it gently. Run them all over his body. Flip around and 69. Make him an active participant.
– Sometimes no hands work better too! If he’s rock hard, take in his cock as much as possible and utilize your hands elsewhere. Grab his thighs, or butt, or balls for a bit! Let the mouth take on the full job.
– Don’t be afraid to move him. If you’re neck or whatever is getting sore, GRAB YO MAN, forcefully and drag his ass into a comfortable position for you (& him perhaps). If it means you give better, longer head, he’ll be down! Also adds to further variety!
– Practice makes perfect. Honestly dating someone with a big dick got me really good at blowjobs, because every other dick usually is the same or smaller so its easier haha. To mitigate gagging, ball your thumb in your fist and squeeze, it helps. And just try to relax your throat. Try not to lock your jaw too. It will help with longevity if you can keep it relaxed!
– The wetter, and sloppier the better. Like just fucking slobber all over that guys junk, it’s hotter if it is messy. It shows enthusiasm, and just lubrication is always better. It makes your life easier too, cause it’s easier to sort of glide along if you’ve got some good saliva action!
– A big smile with eye contact midway through can be everything as you give the cock a nice big lick or deepthroat.
– I like rubbing the tip of the cock around my lips almost as if it’s my lipstick, and teasing it, until he’s looking at me, so thirsty for it. Then right as he’s so on edge, I take in as much as I possibly can down my throat with a big smile.
– MOAN and be vocal, when you like “hum” mmmm, it creates a vibration that feels great on their dick. It also adds to general enthusiasm, your man, wants you to be enjoying yourself & gets off on you doing so.
– When deep throating, DON’T FORGET your tongue. Don’t just deep throat and leave it like a limp hotdog along for the ride. Actively try to lick, while deep throating (its sort of harder yes,,, but once you figure out how, its fine, and way better for him!) Like as you get your throat near (or at) the base make you tongue lick flat up, then flick it at the top of the frenulum before you go down for another big gulp. Also obviously avoid teeth. Pull your top and bottom lips over the top of them and open your mouth nice and wide to avoid any unwanted teeth action.
– It’s different for every guy what they like, so don’t be afraid to ask, or experiment and sort of be like, how does this feel? I find typically flicking the tongue at the tip, and sort of like…. making out (for lack of a better term) with it the most effective? Think of how you like your clit to be licked. The tip of the dick is similar. The bottom underside where the like head of the cock “joins” is called the frenulum and it is very sensitive. Lots of fast, rapid, small circles are nice, as well as just little licks upward. And swirling your tongue around the whole head is lovely.
– Watch how a guy jerks himself off, and imitate. He knows how to make himself cum better than anyone else. So notice how much pressure he uses, and where he’s sort of tugging that meat, and focusing. Then emulate. I got way better at handjobs just observing dudes. ***They don’t typically hold it as tight as one would think… no vice grip***
– Assuming you want to please your partner, tell them they can cum wherever they want. Typically I just swallow, cause its less messy, and turns on the guy the most, and lets them get off fully without sort of stifling their orgasm. It’s pretty hot if you say “I’m not stopping until I taste your cum”
– Dirty talk, in particular, dick-related & be a cock-worshipper. Things like: “You like watching me suck this big, tasty cock?” or “you’re so hard/big/thick, I love having you inside me.”, or “I’m soaking wet from this thick juicy cock in my mouth…”. It gets a lot of guys every time. Be prepared for them to cum after lots of this haha. Or for them to fuck the daylights out of you.
– A finger or two in the bum, while you are sucking his cock can really intensify every sensation. I like to have one hand ‘pumping’ the dick, mouth, deep throating or teasing the cocks head, and the other hand sort of one finger in the bum, and the other fingers cupping his balls. If you can manage them all together it will set you apart from other partners for sure. Once your finger is in the bum, little ‘pressing’ in and out movements or minimal ‘come here’ motions work. It’s not so much about going super deep, just the finger edging in is often better.
– When you want them to cum, tell them! It’s hot, and like lets them know, like okay, its go time haha. (Although don’t pressure them) but typically they’ll grab your head, and sort of make it happen. I find that if you want them to come, deep-throating with a finger in the bum, just sort of teasing the ass hole, is a sure fire way all the time. If bums aren’t your or your man’s thang, also cupping the balls and tugging relatively gently helps, This will pull all the skin tight on his erect penis, making everything more sensitive.
– When he is cumming, moan, tell him its yummy. And lick it all up. Don’t just stop sucking his dick the second you taste cum, make the orgasm last as long as possible. Milk your man! Keep pumping his dick, or whatever you were doing, until you’re sure he’s fully finished. He’ll probably be twitching and pushing you off, because its crazy sensitive, but don’t you dare leave until he’s like fully done unloading and can’t take anymore! Follow through the orgasm to get its fullest payoff.
– Not for the faint of heart. But sometimes holding the cum in your mouth, and swirling it around the tip after can really feel good for your man. Also sometimes they like to see you licking it up. I always lick my dicks squeaky clean after I get them off. With lots of moaning of course. (*not for everyone)
– Some guys hate this, but running your fingertips or nails all over his body after he’s came can feel amazing.
In a nutshell (heh) just be enthusiastic & playful, be vocal, & enjoy it (I mean hopefully you are, but if not, try to look like you are), make it sloppy, and switch it up. I guarantee you that this will make him come back for more! It’s not a race, pleasure is pleasure, and make every moment count. Make sure you’re on the same page with any bum stuff, before you surprise him with that too! Lastly, these tips aren’t one size fits all, so as always, communication is key, as well as reading your mans verbal and physical cues if he’s enjoying something, or not.
It’s funny how one’s sexual tastes evolve over time. It’s so random too! Like you may have NEVER wanted to do butt stuff with one partner, then all of a sudden, it’s all you do with another! It just varies though from partner to partner. I think that is what makes sex so fun! It can be so unpredictable! It should be spontaneous, different and exciting & of course… a little dirty. If not, where is the fun in it? It’s like any activity. You should constantly be re-inventing new ways of doing it. Better ways. More creative ways. It’s like art. In fact, it is an art. One does not simply paint the same scenery of trees for their entire art career. If they do, you better bet that it’s going Pablo Picasso, from a more realistic approach to abstract cubism. Moreover, they are always experimenting and wetting their paintbrush in different ways & unique rhythms.
That is why the appeal of new partners is such a draw. It automatically switches up everything so drastically, that its no wonder people can tend to be… well… a little slutty. It’s also what makes being in a committed relationship such a challenge! You constantly need to reinvent yourself to keep it from going stale. As one who was in a six-year committed relationship, I know how hard it can be. You get in a mundane routine, and it gets so boring, that eventually you barely have sex anymore at all! That kiddos is the death of a relationship! So I’m writing telling you, switch it up! Break from routine! If you’re helplessly single right now too (I feel ya) then enjoy the differences from every partner! Even if they are bad differences! Now you know what you don’t like! If its god-awful too, its usually always a funny story later! xx
The Law of Attraction
I thought I’d lay out a step-by-step guide to the Laws of Attraction I have noticed, being a single twenty-five year old in 2018. As per usual, this is all obviously based on my own opinions, and I’m sure a small cohort of people will disagree with some of these, so take these with a grain of salt! Also, I’m sure I’ve missed tons of things I couldn’t really think of, so comment your biggest tips! Anyways, enough of the introduction here is the sexy stuff:
- Don’t be a needy fuck. That being said, don’t be so aloof that ya’ll aren’t even talking.
- As a general rule of thumb, match their frequency. If they text you back every 15 minutes, do something similar. If it’s one text every other day, then you text once every other day or so (or not at all because, fuck that noise)
- Now that being said, don’t obsess over it. If you happen to have your phone and they text you, just bloody respond. ESPECIALLY if you are in an on-going, good conversation.
- Another good habit is to put your phone away! If you are out with your friends, go be present with your friends! If you’re working out, work out! Save your conversation for when you have more downtime. It makes you seem like you have a life you’re actually living, which is incredibly attractive. It also is just a positive life balance and well-being exercise to not be glued to your phone obsessing about who is texting you. Often you will forget about his response you’ve been waiting on, and then when you do pull out your phone eventually its a happy surprise that they have texted back!
- Make your texts have value! Sending “hey” is boring, and shows you’re boring. No one wants to respond to a hey. Send a picture with a caption that relates to something you spoke about. Tell a joke! Start off with confidently inviting them out somewhere! I assure you this will garner much better responses than “hey.” Whenever you really blank out of ideas to send, asking a question is good, as it typically always elicits a response.
- This is probably more personal to me, but grammar and spelling matter! You just look like an idiot if you are consistently texting nonsense words. We can all type and aren’t on ’99 nokias anymore, spell out the damn word.
- Make plans early on and confidently. Texting has a tendency to fizzle out quickly. So while you have their attention, hammer down some plans to hang out! If you’re talking about spaghetti, instead of going on about it, be like:
“You + Me + my cute dog. Monday night at 7pm! You bring a nice crisp white wine? I’ll bring the arma-ghetti and heat in the kitchen? Italian date night, I know it won’t be as good as your mom’s you’re raving about, but perhaps I can get some tips from you?”
- This text is amazing (in my opinion) it sets the mood perfectly! You have everyone invited, & the cute dog is especially enticing! The plans are definite and have a location and time, so there is no guess-work later on. It’s got a theme, and also effort will be put in. You make them work for it a bit, saying they need to supply the wine. Also, there is some cheeky flirty banter. It’s also a statement. You are confident that your plans are awesome. It’s not a meek, feeble, question, which sets you up for a higher rate of rejection.
- Bonus points if you can remember something they spoke of earlier, and make a date from it. For example, on the last date, she would love to try some Korean food. If you remember that and then ask her out for Korean food, why wouldn’t she say yes?! It also makes a woman swoon. We really aren’t that complex. Just remember little details and that will get you SO far.
- Keep it light-hearted and flirty. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some good deep chats in texts once in a blue moon. However, typically a text should be sweet and fun, not a big intense chat. Save those for in person, or call them if the mood turns more serious!
- Know when to stop. If the conversation has died, don’t force it. Now if you like them & they haven’t talked to you in a hot minute, try again. Hopefully, they just got busy. If they continue to not respond, or take eons too, I’m sorry its time to move on. I’m a fan of calling them out and saying ‘Hey, it seems like you’re no longer interested, which is cool, so I’m going to let you go. It was nice getting to know you, and I wish you the best” or something along those lines. It’s just common courtesy not to ghost, even if you were the one being rejected more so. I think it’s nice to end things formally. It also shows you have standards, and gives you back your empowerment.
- So more to my last point. DON’T GHOST! (If you are Patrick Star, & live under a rock, ghosting is simply cutting all communication out of nowhere, with no explanation, after having constant communication for a time.) Ghosting is just plain rude, and immature as all hell. The only time its applicable to ‘ghost’ in my opinion is like on a dating app, if you have barely talked and never met up. Or if they did something creepy or rude to you. Which if they were a creep, that’s more blocking than a typical ‘ghost’ definition anyways.
- If you GET ghosted. As said before, call them out! Now not everyone has the balls too, or some people I know think it can be perceived as ‘desperate’ but I disagree. I think people should be held accountable for their shitty behavior. I always hope that if I make them feel bad about it, perhaps to their next unlucky suitor they will maybe be more kind.
- Be careful of tone. Texts can be misinterpreted incorrectly quite easily. An exclamation mark, versus a period, can make a big difference in the tone of the message. For example: ‘I’m doing good.’ sounds a little hostile versus ‘I’m doing good!’
- Phone calls are amazing! If you’re going after someone who is outgoing and confident, I highly recommend utilizing a phone call over a text. They are so much more personal, and since they are way less popular these days, they seem much more romantic and offer almost a bit of nostalgia.
- There isn’t a ton to say more on phone calls, except to utilize them! They are a great tool, and can really allow you to get to know someone better, and get a really nice banter and tone established with them way more than text can offer.
Instagram / Social Media:
- So as an FYI, I predominantly only use Instagram so I’m mainly going to focus on that. However I’ve had snapchat, so I know about it, I do have a facebook, and I for a brief second had a twitter (which I hated.)
- If you are using any dating apps, chances are your Instagram is going to get a good creep. You want to ensure its a good first impression (assuming you want more dates.) This is super hard to ‘coach’ as its sort of your call of what you want to portray yourself as, and how much of a fuck you give what you post on it. For me, I like to keep my Instagram fun, colourful, and full of variety. Personally, I’m quite turned off by people who post pictures of their face only & that’s it…. like do you have friends? I do tend to post maybe too curated of photos, because hey, I want to look good! That being said, try not to cat-fish & post some ‘real’ photos every once and awhile.
- I myself am personally turned off by a guy who posts too many shirtless pictures. If they are super into fitness, then fine, but it just comes across very arrogant and fuckboi-esque to have an overabundance of them. I also have no desire to see dead animals all over your page, but hey, that’s just me.
- I think sliding into the dm’s is the new ‘dating app.’ I’m all for it! If you find someone cute, why not? A cheeky comment here and there is great too. I think the main tip is to keep it light, and playful, & don’t bombard them with likes/messages.
- Personally, I don’t mind if you follow me on Instagram from the get-go. Most people like followers, and it shows that you’re just that much more interested. On the flipside, I find Facebook a little more personal and very much dislike friend requests, until I’ve gotten to know you a lot more. That’s a pretty personal preference though.
- Thirst traps are real. HOWEVER they typically work for fuckboi’s, as any guy who is truly invested in liking you, shouldn’t need an overtly sexual obvious reminder to hit on you. That being said, it is a great little ego boost, & can get the ball rolling after something went a little stale. Use sparingly though, for maximum impact & looking mostly classy, not trashy.
On a date:
- I’m not going to go into crazy detail here, as I think I will write a longer post on date etiquette, but I will touch on a few quick pointers:
- Be friendly! They’ve already agreed to be on a date, the game is up on getting them to the date, so don’t be a frigid bitch. Smiling can go a long way!
- Eye contact, and be engaged in the conversation! No phones!
- Be polite to every single person you come in contact with. I mean this should always be a goal every day, but on a date, be sure to be on your best behavior.
- Always offer to pay! It’s 2018, a lot of guys won’t treat you, and you shouldn’t really expect them to. I always offer to pay, as I believe it is just polite. However, I think whoever asked whoever out, should be the one to pay. I also really, really like when guys pay, I personally like the nostalgia idea of a man treating his woman.
- Body language is very important. Try to mirror them if you like them.
- As a woman, I don’t ever usually initiate the first kiss on a date, but, make sure you leave an opening for them to do so if you would like that to happen!
After a Date Follow Up:
- As a woman, I REALLY like when a guy tells me to text him when I’m home safe. It’s even better if he ensures I get home safe, but that’s not always super plausible.
- I also love to leave the ball in his court to text me after a first* date, as that’s how I gauge if he was interested or not. If after 48 hours he hasn’t said anything though, I usually give a last-ditch text to say I enjoyed our date and to see what’s up!
- Kissing is pretty personal so it is mostly trial and error of what works for you and your partner, so always ask them!
- Don’t suffocate the person. Like you need to breathe! There is certainly appealing harder more intense kisses but they need to be sprinkled sparingly between lighter kisses, and brushes of the lips, and you need some breathing, some ebb, and flow.
- Keep your eyes closed for the most part (you’re a bit of a freak if you don’t) however, looking up into someone eyes and smiling right after finishing up a kiss can make hearts melt.
- Don’t forget about your hands, and such! They should be holding his hands, or in his hair, or on the small of his neck or back or….. on that dick! Just, do something with them! It’s always the small things that make you a good kisser to a great kisser!
- Don’t overuse your tongue or drown the person. I think going for a massaging sort of motion is a good visual to have in your brain.
- A lip bite here and there can be amazing. Use pressure based on your partners likes though. Some people really dislike hard lip-bites, while others go crazy. You want to grab their bottom lip and give it a nice firm tug, then release.
- Kiss them on places aside from their lips! I personally go crazy for ear kisses.
- Obviously, don’t have rank breath. That’s gross, check yourself.
- Don’t leave hickeys. Nobody wants one, so try not to be that guy. Maybe its a funny badge of honor when you’re younger, but its mostly just a piss off.
- Mix it up. Good kissers aren’t just doing the same thing for a thirty-minute make out sesh. They are kissing you in multiple locations, with different intensities, and doing things with their hands and your bodies to enhance the experience.
- I mean cuddling isn’t really rocket science. Who doesn’t love being a little spoon? In general just press your bodies together in some sort of format, and you’re pretty much good to go.
- I love it when people like, snuggle up close, and really set into a cuddle. Like if you’re spooning, rub your bum into him, and pull his arms around you tighter. It’s cute.
- It’s lovely when you take cuddling a little step further and trace little circles with your fingertips on the small of their back, or something along those lines.
Oral & Foreplay:
- See my tips on oral here: tr(eat) her right
- Also See my foreplay tips: but first, foreplay
- Not to sound like a broken record, but being good in bed, is very dependant on your partners’ preferences and needs. So communication is the best tip I can give you. You will never regret asking a partner what they like, I assure you.
- Don’t just go straight to sex with no foreplay. That is the worst thing any guy can do. Girl’s need to be turned on mentally before anything should be happening physically. Not too mention if you aren’t wet yet, it can sometimes be very uncomfortable. The ‘let’s jackhammer this girl the whole time with nothing else’ method is horrible. Please don’t do it.
- Real talk, 70% of woman require clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. So don’t ignore that little button. I figure good sex should always have your mouth, hands, and sex organs busy simultaneously pretty much always. If 1 of those 3 extremities aren’t doing something, you’re not trying hard enough.
- Exciting locations or outfits can really liven up the bedroom life.
- Switch up your position, don’t just do basic missionary the whole time, what a snooze fest.
- It should be your goal to get your partner off, (and vice versa!!) don’t be a selfish lover. Go to town, till they can’t take it anymore.
- Remember, you don’t always have to fuck her hard as possible, IN FACT, typically the slower and more sensual the better. Save the hard pounding for the finish, if that’s what you need to cum.
- Don’t always go for the same ‘cheap, easy’ orgasm. If she gets off on her clit being rubbed really easily, that’s amazing and definitely capitalize on it! However, try some other methods. You will be a god if you can get an p-in-v orgasm too, when she’s never had one of those… just saying.
- Dirty talk can be your best friend sometimes. If not super dirty, just romantic comments and soft moans to let your partner feel they are desired is always wonderful.
- Savour her. Soak up her taste, her feel, her smell. Breathe it all in. Devour her body but like a fine, rich dessert. You have to make each bite count. Really milk the most out of every movement.
- Grab her. Hold her like you can’t get enough.
- SEX SHOULD BE FUN! So have fun! Make it fun! Laugh, be silly, be vulnerable & enjoy it.
I could go further into depth on all of these topics, but here is my crash course for some go-to tips on the basic laws of attraction I have come across. Let me know what you want me to expand more on, and what your best tips are! Stay sexy sweethearts xox
How do you know when someone is the one? Is it as simple as thinking about them all the time? No, I feel like you get that gut instinct, that just knows, however, I think mine is broken now. Is it because I’ve been hurt in the past so often, that I’m now so guarded to let love just burst in? Have I already had my one and only shot? Could it be that I just have yet to meet my next great love? These are the questions that bombard my mind daily, when I’m just trying to live my best life, dammit!
I’ve made myself the promise that I refuse to make it official and date anyone that I’m not insanely excited about, and falling in, or already in love with! I don’t think anyone should settle. In my quest to uphold this mantra to myself though, I feel as though I may have not given a few guys a fair enough of a chance. I let some good guys go, for some now somewhat perhaps trivial reasons. It’s hard to have those ‘what ifs’ and stew on the fact they could have been a beautiful relationship had I worked at it a little harder. Maybe its this idea that you simply, fall in love. It shouldn’t be difficult, it shouldn’t be stressful, it shouldn’t be scary. It should just simply be. It just happens as quickly as falling asleep. One day you just realize you love the person, and nothing insanely dramatic and cathartic happens when you make this realization typically. It can be the moment they remembered you like white vinegar on your potatoes, with wayyyy too much salt & ensure to ask the waitress to bring it for you. It is always the small acts that prove the biggest love. Sadly, I’ve yet to have that, with a great impact. I’ve had little glimpses of it coming up on my third year of being single. I’m just here, not so patiently waiting for it to happen. My main thought today though is to not give up. To keep up the hope that great love will come my way & all this noise in the background is just experience to laugh about later and make my dumbass realize that once I find the one, I’ll be sure to know it!
xx Later days
investing in yourself
Just thought I’d steal a quote from the love guru, Matthew Hussey:
“NEVER, EVER, EVER INVEST IN A GUY BASED ON HOW MUCH YOU LIKE HIM. INVEST BASED ON HOW MUCH HE INVESTS IN YOU.”
I myself always get caught up in dating, that once I decide I like a guy, I fall hard and fast, and I put him on a pedestal in my brain. No matter how perfect a guy is, its detrimental to have the mentality that he’s above you and this untouchable human, whose wonderful in every conceivable way. It negates you keeping standards as well as finding out who the man sitting in front of you truly authentically is, rather than your projected version of the ideal candidate. I get it, it’s so easy to do. You think, finally, a guy I click with, who ticks most if not all of the main boxes! That’s so dangerous though because if you suddenly pour yourself & efforts into him it can come off way too strong and clingy. Its crucial men can feel at ease in the early stages of dating you, or they simply won’t want to date you.
One of my favourite sayings when playing cards (yes I’m 25 going on 80, what of it?) is, ‘your hands are bleeding’ meaning, your cards are showing! While I am a strong advocate of being your authentic self, & being open and honest, you can’t show off your whole hand right away. Play those spades, & clubs first, and let him work to get you diamonds, and finally your hearts. Take him outdoors, cut loose dancing with him & don’t expect to be spoiled until he truly can’t help but spoil you! Trust you’ll be reigning as Queen of Hearts in no time if you take time to cultivate a solid foundation based upon an equal playing field.
Precisely why I thought I’d take a moment of your day to tell you. You deserve strong, true, easy love. However, if you think you’ve found it, keep yourself in check! Don’t get ahead of yourself too fast, take some reality checks along the way. Remember they are a human with flaws, and that’s okay. Match their investment level & keep your heels and your head high! xx
tr(eat) her right
Before any amazing head is given, I always recommend a little foreplay: https://sexualinnuendo.ca/2018/11/06/but-first-foreplay/ (see my write-up on that here)
In addition to those foreplay tips, going down on your girl is another amazing form of foreplay, or can be the main event! Now every girl is different, and every vagina is unique, so it is crucial to respond to what your girl is enjoying, and make sure what you’re doing she likes and is comfortable with, and if you’re unsure, just ask her! You don’t pet a shaggy dog like a labradoodle, the same way you pet a lab, because they’re different! They prefer different strokes! Same goes for your bitch (don’t call her that, unless she’s kinky like that.) You have to respond to her fur…. (or lack thereof,) and her particular wants & needs. That being said, these tips are mostly based on what I like and have found a common desire of the other women I’ve discussed it with, so please take everything with a grain of salt & remember communication is key!
- Kisses. Kiss her inner thighs. Kiss her pelvis, kiss the clit. Something about a kiss is just so romantic and endearing, and lips can feel so lovely and tantalizing. It’s the perfect opening before going right in there. (Although don’t get it twisted, sometimes going right for the gold, is appreciated and encouraged.)
- The vagina lips! Sometimes it is pretty hot before going straight for the obvious spots, to teaser her clit a little by gently squeezing her lips together and playing with them a bit. If that’s not really your jam, spread the labia gently & focus licking the clitoral head and clit. Get your tongue nice and wet. The sloppier the better! I find a flatter tongue is my preferred way of going about licking the clit. Nice bottom to top fat licks, in both slow & rapid succession. I find it offers the best bang for your buck if you will, as the full surface area of your tongue is enveloping the clit, so you get the maximum amount of contact on it, which in turns create the maximum effect. Now this being said, using more the tip of the tongue and going left to right can also be lovely, but I tend to prefer the aforementioned method. Both are excellent though, and variety is the spice of life, so switching between a couple different styles of licking is highly encouraged! Think of the clit like you think of your balls (if you have them) it is extremely sensitive and you have to be gentle!
- If she is not already, once you’ve licked/kissed/teased her to become nice and wet, use those lovely fingers you’ve got, and start to slip one, possibly two into the vagina. Now fingering is an art! When done right it can be amazing! You want to be making an upward almost c motion, not just ramming your fingers in and out. You want to ensure you are hitting the g-spot. Essentially a come here motion with your fingers will make her… cum there. It is crucial to read your woman with this, and if she isn’t that wet yet, don’t be too aggressive, as that can become sometimes painful and uncomfortable. If she’s good and going, and ready to cum though, a fast more aggressive approach is advisable. I’d say the number one complaint I have at guys fingering, are they just hammer their digits into you way to aggressively, and it is not enjoyable. There needs to be build up, and slowly drawn out fingers can be even better than fast ones! Also cut your nails, and nail scraping your girls’ vag is not fun for her!
- Now, this is NOT for everyone, but if she has given consent and is into it, the good ol’, two in the pink, one in the stink, is actually pretty awesome! Slipping a finger into her ass while simultaneously still fingering her vagina, and licking her clit, is a sure fire way to get her to orgasm, over and over again! For the ass, I find one finger is typically more than enough to have a rather drastic effect. Some girls don’t even realize sometimes when a guy does it, and just feel amazing, because it makes you feel full. It just creates this incredible sensation where every nerve in your body is being stimulated. As far as fingering the ass, it requires a little less finesse than the vagina. I find even just pressing on it and not even fully entering it can be a fantastic tease. Meanwhile inserting a finger inside all the way can also be highly enjoyable. A more basic in and out motion works fine too. If you can master, licking the clit, fingering the vagina, and giving her some in the booty, you are already doing better than most, and kudos!
- If butt stuff isn’t your thang, take that free hand and utilize it. Grab her body, anywhere! Boobs, butt and even like a love handle can be some choice spots, but anywhere really will do.
- Go hands-free on the vagina, and continue to lick up her pussy and take both hands and grab her ass cheeks and pull her close into your face. I love being grabbed and feeling like the guy can’t taste me enough, and needs more. Forearms wrapped under the thighs, with a mans hand coming around and cupping the ass is just, muah*, fantastic! Also grabbing both breasts is a lovely action, with a bit of nipple play too! Again, switch it up, a bit of everything keeps it intriguing and from going stale.
- Back to licking. If you’re into it, licking from the asshole up to the vagina to the clit can be amazing. A lovely upward motion can cause for extreme pleasure! A little ass eating never hurt anyone either. Some tongue in the vagina can be lovely too! I personally don’t get too off on this, but a little brief moment of it can be very enjoyable. It’s hard to access properly, but try to get as much of your tongue into the vagina, and lick up and in. Once you’ve focused on the clit, you can either more or less suck, go in little circles, or go back and forth. I am partial to little circles. Same goes for your hands! Again, with fingers, I prefer stimulation in little circles. Slower when you start and building up to a more rapid pace when I’m about to cum. Switching between, licking, sucking, fingering, and hands all up and in the clit and vagina are ideal. I’m all for the mixture of sensations. So don’t just do the same method the whole session, switch it up! Respond to her actions too, if she seems to be orgasming every time you suck on her clit, do more of that. If she isn’t moaning much when you’re doing something else, chances are it’s not quite doing it for her, so stop. Also again, ASK, asking will get both of you the pleasure you desire!
- For you science nerds, don’t forget about the commissure which is the area right above the clitoris and clitoral hood. It tends to get overlooked and can be a fantastic area to put pressure on. One thing I find incredibly sexy is when a man presses down on the commissure, and just like the top skin groin sort of area above the vag, and just firmly presses into it while eating me out. I like feeling contained, especially when I start coming hard and shaking, its a great way to hold me down, and continue to go to town, while the girl is quivering and (hopefully) bucking, unable to contain her enthusiasm and orgasm. Being pinned down and forced to stay in your orgasm is hot as hell.
- Now when she starts getting close to an orgasm, DON’T STOP. Keep doing what you’re doing, be consistent in the rhythm and pace! Do not just go way faster all of a sudden, what you were doing was working, so keep doing it until she comes! Unless you’re edging her or going for the tease, then carry on. But like if its already working, for the love of god keep it up! Don’t stop when she starts writhing too. Keep it going until she’s begging you to stop, and pushing you off… and even then, keep going until you know she legit cannot take anymore! That is crucial! Girl’s orgasms can last much longer than men (bless-up!) so may as well make it last as long as possible! When your girl is coming, grind your face into her pussy, and keep eating like you’re starved for her sweet pussy.
- Once she’s done coming, go back to a slow, passionate pace. Lap up her juices, and if she can tolerate it, kiss her clit and vagina, and slowly roll your tongue across it. Very slow an relaxing can feel amazing after coming. Most girls can and want to have multiple orgasms, so once she’s had a little breather, go back to square one and keep it going! Or… fuck her already, let’s get some DICK.
- All woman have little idiosyncracies of what works for them. So communication is key & discovering together what works best is half the fun! Don’t be afraid to experiment (if both parties are willing) and do what the particular woman in front of you wants. There is not a one size fits all for woman and cunnilingus! Sex, in general, is like fingerprints, completely unique to the individual! That’s what makes it so fun!
- Other fun things to throw in, is sneaky kisses elsewhere! Little pauses, or a smile, or a wink can be so cute. Tell her how good she tastes! Moan! You should both be enjoying this! If you’re not enjoying it… well 1) too bad, but 2) why not and 3) do something to make yourself more happy to do it, jack yourself off or something! Get her to pleasure you as well! (Don’t be selfish though, nobody likes a selfish guy, you’ll get your turn!) The longer you can eat out your girl the better!
- As far as positions go, anything goes! I find most men prefer to just sort of have the standard girl lying down on her back with her legs splayed open, and guys face in between. Or girl doing some face sitting, or the much loved 69 as well. Find what feels comfortable, and or please switch it all up. I love a good facesitting because it feels a little naughtier which is pretty hot. I also find a girl in like a “doggy style” sort of position with her legs apart slightly and ass in the air is pretty damn sexy. It’s also a great position if you want to do a bit of ass eating.
- So ass eating. If you both are about it, go for it. It can be a bit of a tricky spot to access so positions can be key to achieving a great experience. I find the girls ass in the air, or one foot up on a counter standing with the guy coming up underneath are the easiest ways. Ass eating I find there aren’t many “Rules” like, just try to get your tongue and mouth all up in their bum in whatever possible way. A firm tongue in and out and deep wet licks are the ticket though! If you’re a little unsure about ass-eating and the ‘cleanliness’ starting it in the shower is an excellent first step! While ass eating, get your girl to spread her cheeks, or you do it for her. Rubbing her clit with your hands, and or grabbing her while eating her ass is the best!
- If she can squirt there are quite a few decencies. 1) Towels strategically put beforehand can be a smart idea, cause it can make a mess! 2) DO NOT make her feel bad about it or that you are grossed out. 3)It’s not fucking pee, and stop joking it is, it makes her feel bad (see tip 2). 4)Encouraging it can really boost her confidence, and make it extra special. 5)Tell her how excited it makes you if it does! It is really cute when guys haven’t had a squirter before and they are just in awe. 6) DON’T STOP, really don’t stop, keep going till there is nothing left. It feels incredible! 7) I find the best way to make squirting happen is going ham on the clit. It’s really hard to squirt while you’re inside her (at least for me). Some clit and anal action are a surefire way to make it happen.
- Eye contact is always appreciated. Although to be honest, if I’m being eaten out well, my eyes are in the back of my head as I’m writhing around. Pinning her down is also recommended.
- Now in the grand sexual landscape. When having actual sex, in between switching positions and such. Snag a little pussy eating action. Before you stick your cock in her, give her a nice quick orgasm from eating her out in a different position, then right after she comes, give her some nice smooth dick action. Switching between dicks/fingers and tongues continuously is just the best!
- Remember, slow deliberate licks (especially with some eye contact and smiles) can be amazing! It’s not all about speed and hammering it in, in fact, it’s not about that much at all when it comes to cunnilingus! Slow & steady wins the race!
- If you can achieve a nice “suction” onto her pussy, that is pretty magical. Get your face in her. If you can breathe easily, you’re not going hard enough. You should both be gasping for air panting. Breathe her pussy, that’s your air now!
- Enthusiasm gets you very far.
- Watch some, good quality, passionate, real couples porn. I don’t necessarily crazy recommend this, however, if you’re clueless, it gives you a bit of an idea & can show a little better than I can tell you with words.
In general, be passionate, continue when something is working, communicate, and be enthusiastic & don’t stop. Do not be lazy with your hands! They should always be in her, or on her. Grabbing her thighs and butt and waist to bring her into you is the best! Happy eating out friends. xx
but first, foreplay
So I’ve been asked when the sex of my blog is going to make an appearance, so here it is! To be honest I haven’t been having much of it as of late, & in turn feeling pretty unsexy. However, this ends now! Let’s all get it going with some foreplay tips! Feel free to comment your best tricks!
- Make her want you. A long stretch, showing off your height and size where your man v’s (unf) and stomach show. So you get her mind warmed up first. Thinking about how she wants your body on top of hers. Biting your lip, or playing with your hair. Talking to her about something sexual. Make her mind anticipate what she wants, so when you start touching her, she’s already hungry & panting for more. Its all about initial seduction & setting the mood. Light some candles, put on some mood music.
- Warm her up! Foreplay is soooo underrated! That is coming from a girl who can go 0-60 pretty darn quick too! She should be BEGGING for a guy to go down on her(at least in her head) or penetrate her because he’s been edging her so effectively. It all starts with kissing. A good kiss just starts flooding the basement. Soft lips, to firm lips, and everything in between. I myself am a sucker for neck & ear kisses. Play and kiss my ears, and I’m putty in your hands. Moving your lips down the collarbone, then the breasts, and the nipples, then down the stomach, legs, and everywhere you can think of. Just kiss the girl! Kiss her like you mean it! I feel like I should write this because I’ve come across it quite frequently….. DON’T just force your mouth on her, and like push into her for minutes at a time. That isn’t sexy and is rather awful. Kissing needs some deep, heavy moments, but you need air. The sexiest kisses are often the slightest brush of the lips, or a bite of the lip, with an extra moment hanging in the air in between the lips rushing toward one another.
- Hands. Use your digits! You’ve got ten of them, and she wants to feel them everywhere! Every crevice, every curve, on every freckle. If you aren’t pulling her closer & grabbing her like you need to for your life, you’re not doing it right. Get a handful of that booty, and caress her thighs, down to her calves. Holding her waist firmly is so lovely too.
- Words can be a very effective tool. Words hold power. Now not every girl is into dirty talk and the levels can drastically vary. However, I’ve never come across a woman who doesn’t like a few positive affirmations about how sexy they are. Tell her how wild she is driving you! Scream it from the rooftops! (Warning, may cause neighbors to hate you.) She should feel like a goddess and that your desire is at its utmost highest level. If she is more demure and not into dirty talk, tell her how beautiful she is, and what about her body you love…. don’t overkill it, but lovely comments can stick with a girl for a lifetime. Even just say her name, and moan. If she’s a little freakier, get on her level. I always recommend starting slow with more romantic dirty talk, and then upping it as you see fit, and if positive feedback seems to follow with it. I often find whispering in the ear is effective, but I personally feel quite proud when I can get a guy screaming too.
- Be a tease! She should be in agony wanting more of you! Know when to give in though, and give her what she wants. But when she’s really enjoying something you’re doing, continue it, but ease off, and really back off, until shes writhing for more. Make her crave you! Once you give in though, bring it home. Woman want what they can’t have, and it’s a sure fire way to get her soaking wet.
- In addition to teasing, create some tension. If she went out of her way to wear lingerie (or even if she didn’t) leave it on a bit. Admire it, play with it. Kiss her through her panties. Tease her with the fabric. This drives me personally wild. Women also always love feeling appreciated, so you keeping that lingerie on a little longer makes her know it was worthwhile, and in turn, makes her appreciate you all the more!
- A sensual massage always does the trick. Any time your bodies can be close, without doing anything overtly sexual always creates thick sexual tension, which can drive a woman (or man) wild. Massages are the obvious choice, but a hand on the thigh. Hand holding. Playing with her hair. Whatever. Just touch her.
- Ask her. So many people forget the easiest way to please anyone, is to ask them what they like!
- Eye contact. Look at her. Smile at her! This all goes back to she will feel so desired and be on the edge of her seat wanting more.
At the end of the day, make her feel comfortable in your arms. Make her feel desired, and like she’s a goddess and all that you want. Tease her and build up to every touch, every next step. Act as though you cannot get enough of her, touch her, kiss her, and love her like your life depends on it. Don’t forget that the gentle touches, warm breath, and little things amount to big things in the grand picture. Don’t be afraid to press her against a wall, and take her, make her feel so desirable. Now that is some good foreplay! xxox
Go on now go
If I’ve learned anything in my twenty-five years here on earth, it’s that if people want you in your life, you will be in it. Simple as that. There’s no ifs and buts if you want my company, you will make it happen. I’ve tolerated too many half-ass relationships (friends & romantically) and have come to the conclusion, that I’m through with your sorry ass, if you can’t reciprocate the effort I’m giving you! Never chase love & affection, if it is not given freely, for one, it’s not worth having, and secondly, they don’t want you bad enough. Know your worth. It has taken me years to feel worthy of a great love, and some days, I feel as if I don’t deserve it truthfully. However, I’m a strong, confident woman, who knows, I’m a mother-fucking-prize & whoever I choose to date next better treat me as such. My friend told me something which sounds a little off & harsh at first take, but I think its actually so on point, he said ‘date someone who worships you & thinks you’re a goddess.’ If you have someone who just absolutely adores you, they won’t fuck around with you, and they will make you feel so loved. Isn’t that all we want to be at the end of the day, adored and loved beyond anything? I know I do. So tell those fuckboys to fuck off & drop anyone who isn’t putting in an adequate amount of effort. Also, check yourself. Maybe it’s you that is not putting in the effort? If you aren’t, ask yourself why, and make a change either way! Either cut them off nicely and concisely or get your ass in gear and start being a good friend/romantic partner! I struggle with the fact that I’m an outgoing go-getter, who goes after what they want. So when I know I like someone, I go all in, which can and has scared a lot of guys off. I like my attitude though, I think more people need to be upfront in what they want (just don’t be a creep about it!) For myself though it can be difficult to know when I need to pull back and see if they are as into it as I am. I’ve been trying to be very self-aware of this as of late. Difficult doesn’t even begin to explain it because when I like someone, I want more than anything to shower them in attention and affection! That is how I realize though, someone needs to treat me and that its love that happens when it’s two people trying to outdo one another. Each person should feel as though one another treats them as a god/goddess. So if you aren’t getting that great effort, I’m sorry, but its time to say goodbye! It’s scary at first, but it will feel so liberating after, I promise! Not too mention, a good dose of fear, can make some people who were on the fence, come back full-force with their tail between their legs on occasion! So I did some cleaning-house today with some guys and I feel pretty relieved to be rid of some of these draining relationships. Here’s to better days & better loving. xx